"Nature"

I'm not gonna lie, I waited to do my nature experiment until today. But whatever, it worked. My nature experiment was really eye opening, because of all the mixed emotions I felt about it afterwards. But I'll get to that later.

Basically, I came home from a long night after winter formal expecting to arrive at home obligated to sit down and tell my dad how the limo was, how everyone looked, etc. But I pulled up to the house and his car wasnt there. Nobody was home, and I was really confused and tired and so I thought about all of the homework that I put off and that I felt like I had to do right then and there. I then thought that this was the perfect time to do my nature experiment, especially because I wouldn't have to explain to anyone what I was doing or where I was going because I was home alone!

So I drove to the beach, and there was some surfing photoshoot thing, so I drove farther north to a viewpoint where nobody was. It was perfect for the nature thing. It was cold and cloudy and I was really tired, so I stayed in my car... sorry Emerson. But I ignored the fact that I was in my car and just took in everything around me. Pleased with the fact that I was doing homework while relaxing I really got into it.

Even though I was in a plain space, my mind still managed to try and think about a million things at once. Over time just observing the peace these miscellaneous things roaming in my brain seemed to go away. But it bothers me that it takes effort in today's world to simply clear your mind - something that should be done with ease in a personal way. But because of society this is a difficult task, and it takes somehting as calming as nature or silence to aid one in doing this. So even though I reached a calm state during this experiment, I was still puzzled by the fact that I had to be alone at the beach in order to be tranquil. However I managed to push that fact aside and just keep my mind as empty as possible.

I didn't let myself fall asleep even though I was really really exhausted from the night before, because I really wanted to embrace the experiment. I mean it's not every day that you can just relax for 30 minutes and be completing part of an english project at the same time. So I didn't take that for granted and in result I notcied many things about where I was which reminded me of a lot of stuff. The ocean was dark dark blue with choppy waves giving off a mist with every movement. At the time this seemed boring, but once I thought abuot it more it was really beautiful. People usually admire the ocean when its crystal clear and great weather, but because the weather wasn't like that today I learned to embrace what I could admire. The image of the imperfect ocean was compelling because it applied to life in a larger sense in that not everyone is perfect, and you have to take them in your life for who you are. This kind of turned into a weird extended metaphor, but observing the ocean on this cloudy day this morning made me come to that conclusion.

Also, when I was sitting in my car two different ladies walked past me. One of them was jogging with her puppy. Her face looked really content as if she was accomplishing something (which she was). The other walked past me slowly, smoking a cigarrette. Her face was more troubling to me, she looked like she was really disturbed by something and stressed out. Even though this isn't really a part of nature, these two women made me think about the fact that nature can be an outlet for everyone. It is really important in our lives, but only if we use it properly. It can be used to your advantage whether you are happy about jogging with a puppy, sad and smoking a cigarrette, or just tired after a long night with friends. There are lots of different people in the world, but there is only one Mother Nature and we should embrace her when we can to help us healthily escape from everything.

"Friendship"

Being an Emersonian friend was weird. Some aspects of his take on friendship were easy to comply with, but there was also some stuff that I didn't want to take part in. For example, it was easy to be thankful for my friends (esp. on Thanksgiving) because I can easily say that they do indeed, "enlarge the meaning of all my thoughts," (203). But I wasn't really comfortable with "guarding him as thy counterpart," (211). Although it's important to maintain friendships, breathing room is important too. If I were to smother my friends because I didn't want them to leave me, that would be just weird and would probably freak them out. In result, that person wouldn't be my friend. So to guard someone as if they are a part of you seems a little extreme. Rather than the quantity of time spent together, it should be the quality of time spend together that's more important.

Emerson's paradox of friendship is basically that you need to know yourself first before you are someone's good friend (208). Knowing this, you will know your own personal limits with people, your goals for potential friendships, how far you are willing to go in a friendship, etc. Taking it a step even further, all of this knowledge will allow you to maintain your friendships with ease. Right now I'm pretty stable in terms of friends, and that's because I've learned a lot about myself along the way. I didn't wake up one morning just knowing everything about myself, but through past experiences (bad and good) I've been able to get a good grasp of my friendship attributes, I guess (sorry I don't really know how to put that part into words well).

"Vulgarity, ignorance, misapprehension are old acquaintances. Now, when he comes, he may get the order, the dress and the dinner - but the throbbing of the heart and the communications of the soul, no more." This quote really hit me because it was easy to relate to (202). Emerson is talking about when someone blows a first impression, but this applies to a situation in my life almost exactly. Someone can be a really good friend for the most part or for a really long time, but once they bring constant ignorance and vulgarity into your interactions there's a point where it's kind of unbearable. People change, and one day it will just hit you that you are not friends with the person you thought you were before. There's no more of being with that person without wanting to cut your head off. There's no more good talks or recognition of each other's emotions. There's no more fun in the friendship, just the obligation that you feel like you "have" to be friends. With this realization comes effort to try and fix things, but the fact that that person is ignorant causes you to fail sending any honest message to that person whatsoever. There's really no point in trying to tell them something again that they won't even try to open their ears to. Because they just won't listen and they will just shut you down. Because of this you lose "the throbbing of the heart and the communications of the soul," and it sucks, but after a certain point there is nothing you can do anymore. So Emerson's analysis of what vulgarity and ignorance can do to someone goes beyond just their first impression, but in true friendships as well.